If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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