what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
