Rock
Scissors
Fuck
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
