I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
