Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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