just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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