Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
