You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
