I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
