Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
