i just google imaged poop.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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