Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
