You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
