I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
