It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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