I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
