Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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