he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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