How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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