So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
