I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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