Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
