Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize