I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
