is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
is wine microwaveable?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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