the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm always down for nudity.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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