I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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