spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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