i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
