I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
