To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
