I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
