no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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