Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
