I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
