Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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