apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
