this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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