how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
