Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
