I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
