I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I supernannyed him into submission
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
