dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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