At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
