the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
