vagina is talking i cant
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
