a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
