he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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