No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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