Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
