Ambien. No doubt about it.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i drank out of a bidet.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
