wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
