The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
