he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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