i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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