have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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